Many a young man feels nervous about his first dinner-party. There are a few puzzling things that trouble him in prospect. He wonders if he should wear gloves, as ladies do, taking them off at the dinner-table. Let me set his mind at rest on this small point, at once. He need not wear gloves. In fact, he must not. Another little matter to be remembered is that a quarter of an hour’s grace is always understood in dinner invitations. Should the hour indicated be 8 o’clock, then care must be taken to time the arrival at five or ten minutes past the hour. But it is better to be too early than too late. A want of punctuality at this meal is unpardonable. It is the very height of rudeness, annoying to the host and hostess, displeasing to the guests, and regarded as outrageous by the cook.

One’s first duty to one’s hostess.

Then acquaintances.

Introduction to partner.

When our young man is shown into the drawing-room, he at once goes up to his hostess, no matter whether there is any one he knows nearer to the door than the lady of the house. This is always a fixed rule, whether it be on the occasion of a call or visit, or on having been invited to a party of any kind. When he has been greeted by his hostess he looks round the room to see if there is any one present whom he knows. If so, he goes up to the ladies first, if there are any of his acquaintance present, and afterwards greets the gentlemen. His host will probably have shaken hands with him immediately after his wife has done so. He will then be told what lady he is to take down to dinner, and be introduced to her, if he does not already know her. He must bow, not shake hands, and make small talk for her during the interval between his introduction and the announcement of dinner.

Making small talk.

If possible, avoid talking about the weather.

The first person singular not a good topic.

Here is his first real difficulty. To converse with a perfect stranger is always one of the initial social accomplishments to be learned, and it is not at all an easy thing at first. It needs practice. Ninety men out of every hundred offer a remark upon the weather; but unless there has been something very extraordinary going on in the meteorological line, it is better to avoid this subject if possible. A girl at Ascot said to me one lovely day, “That’s the eighth man who has informed me that it’s a beautiful day.” Up came a ninth with the very same observation, and both she and I felt inclined to titter like very schoolgirls It is far better to start with something more original. It is as well to keep the pronoun “I” in the background just at first. If your partner is as nice as she might be, she will soon give you abundant opportunity for talking about yourself.

The beginner’s partner.

Compensations.

The small-talk art not so difficult.

By the way, a man must not at his very first dinner-party expect to be given a pretty girl to take down. He may possibly be so fortunate, but those prizes are usually reserved for men of more experience in social life. The young man has probably been invited to make up the necessary number of men, and an unmarried lady of uncertain age or an elderly woman without much claim to consideration will probably fall to his share. However, there is this consolation, she will be excellent for practising upon. He would not mind making small mistakes so much as if his partner were a young and charming girl. Nor is the art of making small talk so difficult as it would be with a pair of bright and youthful eyes beaming into your own, and confusing you into forgetfulness of all but their own delightful language.