The word blew to me through the keyhole and said ‘Come!’ The door sprang subtly open unto me, and said ‘Go!’

But I lay enchained to my love for my children; desire spread this snare for me—the desire for love—that I should become the prey of my children, and lose myself in them.

Desiring—that is now for me to have lost myself. I possess you, my children! In this possessing shall everything be assurance and nothing desire.

But brooding lay the sun of my love upon me; in his own juice stewed Zarathustra—then did shadows and doubts fly past me.

For frost and winter I now longed: ‘Oh, that frost and winter would again make me crack and crunch!’ sighed I; then arose icy mist out of me.

My past burst its tomb, many pains buried alive woke up; fully slept had they merely, concealed in corpse- clothes.

So called everything unto me in signs: ‘It is time!’ But I—heard not, until at last mine abyss moved, and my thought bit me.

Ah, abysmal thought, which art my thought! When shall I find strength to hear thee burrowing, and no longer tremble?

To my very throat throbbeth my heart when I hear thee burrowing! Thy muteness even is like to strangle me, thou abysmal mute one!

As yet have I never ventured to call thee up; it hath been enough that I—have carried thee about with me! As yet have I not been strong enough for my final lion-wantonness and playfulness.

Sufficiently formidable unto me hath thy weight ever been; but one day shall I yet find the strength and the lion’s voice which will call thee up!

When I shall have surmounted myself therein, then will I surmount myself also in that which is greater; and a victory shall be the seal of my perfection!

Meanwhile do I sail along on uncertain seas; chance flattereth me, smooth-tongued chance; forward and backward do I gaze— still see I no end.

As yet hath the hour of my final struggle not come to me— or doth it come to me perhaps just now? Verily, with insidious beauty do sea and life gaze upon me round about.

O afternoon of my life! O happiness before eventide! O haven upon high seas! O peace in uncertainty! How I distrust all of you!

Verily, distrustful am I of your insidious beauty! Like the lover am I, who distrusteth too sleek smiling.

As he pusheth the best-beloved before him—tender even in severity, the jealous one—so do I push this blissful hour before me.

Away with thee, thou blissful hour! With thee hath there come to me an involuntary bliss! Ready for my severest pain do I here stand—at the wrong time hast thou come!

Away with thee, thou blissful hour! Rather harbour there—with my children! Hasten, and bless them before eventide with my happiness!


  By PanEris using Melati.

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