Chapter 1

OF THE CHARACTERISTICS OF MEN AND WOMEN. THE REASONS WHY WOMEN REJECT THE ADDRESSES OF MEN. ABOUT MEN WHO HAVE SUCCESS WITH WOMEN, AND ABOUT WOMEN WHO ARE EASILY GAINED OVER

THE wives of other people may be resorted to on the occasions already described in Part I, Chapter V, of this work, but the possibility of their acquisition, their fitness for cohabitation, the danger to oneself in uniting with them, and the future effect of these unions, should first of all be examined. A man may resort to the wife of another, for the purpose of saving his own life, when he perceives that his love for her proceeds from one degree of intensity to another. These degrees are ten in number, and are distinguished by the following marks:

  • Love of the eye

  • Attachment of the mind

  • Constant reflection

  • Destruction of sleep

  • Emaciation of the body

  • Turning away from objects of enjoyment

  • Removal of shame

  • Madness

  • Fainting

  • Death
Ancient authors say that a man should know the disposition, truthfulness, purity, and will of a young woman, as also the intensity, or weakness of her passions, from the form of her body, and from her characteristic marks and signs. But Vatsyayana is of opinion that the forms of bodies, and the characteristic marks or signs are but erring tests of character, and that women should be judged by their conduct, by the outward expression of their thoughts, and by the movements of their bodies.

Now as a general rule Gonikaputra says that a woman falls in love with every handsome man she sees, and so does every man at the sight of a beautiful woman, but frequently they do not take any further steps, owing to various considerations. In love the following circumstances are peculiar to the woman. She loves without regard to right or wrong,1 and does not try to gain over a man simply for the attainment of some particular purpose. Moreover, when a man first makes up to her she naturally shrinks from him, even though she may be willing to unite herself with him. But when the attempts to gain her are repeated and renewed, she at last consents. But with a man, even though he may have begun to love, he conquers his feelings from a regard for morality and wisdom, and although his thoughts are often on the woman, he does not yield, even though an attempt be made to gain him over. He sometimes makes an attempt or effort to win the object of his affections, and having failed, he leaves her alone for the future. In the same way, when a woman is once gained, he often becomes indifferent about her. As for the saying that a man does not care for what is easily gained, and only desires a thing which cannot be obtained without difficulty, it is only a matter of talk.

The causes of a woman rejecting the addresses of a man are as follows:

  • Affection for her husband

  • Desire of lawful progeny

  • Want of opportunity

  • Anger at being addressed by the man too familiarly

  • Difference in rank of life

  • Want of certainty on account of the man being devoted travelling

  • Thinking that the man may be attached to some other person

  • Fear of the man's not keeping his intentions secret

  • Thinking that the man is too devoted to his friends, and has too great a regard for them

  • The apprehension that he is not in earnest

  By PanEris using Melati.

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