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The Precept of Order requiring that every Part of my Business should have its allotted Time, one Page in my little Book containd the following Scheme of Employment for the Twenty-four Hours of a natural Day,
I enterd upon the Execution of this Plan for Self Examination, and continud it with occasional Intermissions for some time. I was surprisd to find myself so much fuller of Faults than I had imagined, but I had the Satisfaction of seeing them diminish. To avoid the Trouble of renewing now & then my little Book, which by scraping out the Marks on the Paper of old Faults to make room for new Ones in a new Course, became full of Holes: I transferrd my Tables & Precepts to the Ivory Leaves of a Memorandum Book, on which the Lines were drawn with red Ink that made a durable Stain, and on those Lines I markd my Faults with a black Lead Pencil, which Marks I could easily wipe out with a wet Sponge. After a while I went thro one Course only in a Year, and afterwards only one in several Years, till at length I omitted them entirely, being employd in Voyages & Business abroad with a Multiplicity of Affairs, that interfered, but I always carried my little Book with me. My Scheme of ORDER, gave me the most Trouble, and I found, that tho it might be practicable where a Mans Business was such as to leave him the Disposition of his Time, that of a Journey-man Printer for instance, it was not possible to be exactly observd by a Master, who must mix with the World, and often receive People of Business at their own Hours. Order too, with regard to Places for Things, Papers, &c. I found extremely difficult to acquire. I had not been early accustomed to Method, & having an exceeding good Memory, I was not so sensible of the Inconvenience attending Want of Method. This Article therefore cost me so much painful Attention & my Faults in it vexd me so much, and I made so little Progress in Amendment, & had such frequent Relapses, that I was almost ready to give up the Attempt, and content myself with a faulty Character in that respect. Like the Man who in buying an Ax of a Smith my neighbor, desired to have the whole of its Surface as bright as the Edge; the Smith consented to grind it bright for him if he would turn the Wheel. He turnd while the Smith pressd the broad Face of the Ax hard & heavily on the Stone, which made the Turning of it very fatiguing. The Man came every now & then from the Wheel to see how the Work went on; and at length would take his Ax as it was without farther Grinding. No, says the Smith, Turn on, turn on; we shall have it bright by and by; as yet tis only speckled. Yes, says the Man; butI think I like a speckled Ax best. And I believe this may have been the Case with many who having for want of some such Means as I employd found the Difficulty of obtaining good, & breaking bad Habits, in other Points of Vice & Virtue, have given up the Struggle, & concluded that a speckled Ax was best. For something that pretended to be Reason was every now and then suggesting to me, that such extreme Nicety as I exacted of myself might be a kind of Foppery in Morals, which if it were known would make me ridiculous; that a perfect Character might be attended with the Inconvenience of being envied and hated; and that a benevolent Man should allow a few Faults in himself, to keep his Friends in Countenance. In Truth I found myself incorrigible with respect to Order; and now I am grown old, and my Memory bad, I feel very sensibly the want of it. But on the whole, tho I never arrived at the Perfection I had been so ambitious of obtaining, but fell far short of it, yet I was by the Endeavor a better and a happier Man than I otherwise should have been, if I had not attempted it; As those who aim at perfect Writing by imitating the engraved Copies, tho they never reach the wishd for Excellence of those Copies, their Hand is mended by the Endeavor, and is tolerable while it continues fair & legible. And it may be well my Posterity should be informed, that to this little Artifice, with the Blessing of God, their Ancestor owd the constant Felicity of his Life down to his 79th Year in which this is written. What Reverses may attend the Remainder is in the Hand of Providence: But if they arrive the Reflection on past Happiness enjoyd ought to help his Bearing them with more Resignation. To Temperance he ascribes his long-continud Health, & what is still left to him of a good Constitution. To Industry and Frugality the early Easiness of his Circumstances, & Acquisition of his Fortune, with all that Knowledge which enabled him to be an useful Citizen, and obtaind for him some Degree of Reputation among the Learned. To Sincerity & Justice the Confidence of his Country, and the honorable Employs it conferrd |
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